Yellow Fingers

There was a king whose lands were being invaded by a rival kingdom and the king desperately needed to send a request for re-enforcements from a close ally. The only problem was that he couldn’t spare many men and there was tribe of fierce savages that lived in the valley between the king and his ally that would attack anyone trying to cross their territory. Very little was known about this tribe because few men had encountered them and lived to tell about it. The tribe was known only as the Yellow Fingers.

Having little other choice, the king calls upon his greatest knight to ride through the Valley of the Yellow Fingers to request re-enforcements from their ally and save the kingdom from utter destruction.

That afternoon, the knight walks over the plains, into the forest, and down into the Valley of the Yellow Fingers. The knight is immediately ambushed by the Yellow Fingers and although he fights bravely, he is eventually overwhelmed.

The following day, the king, not having received word from his knight, knows that the knight has probably failed in his mission. So, the king decides to send the knight’s squire.

That afternoon, the squire walks over the plains, into the forest, and down into the Valley of the Yellow Fingers. The squire is immediately ambushed by the Yellow Fingers and although he fights bravely, he is eventually overwhelmed.

The following day, the king, not having received word from the squire or the knight, is not really sure what to do and cannot spare any men from his army. So, the king decides to send a lowly page boy from his court. The king tells the page to go that night, and cross the valley while the Yellow Finger are sleeping.

That night, the page walks over the plains, into the forest, and down into the Valley of the Yellow Fingers. As soon as the page steps into the valley, he is immediately ambushed by the Yellow Fingers. The page fights bravely, and kills every single one of the Yellow Fingers that try to attack him. He delivers the request for re-enforcements and saves his kingdom from destruction.

The moral of this story being:

“Let your pages do the walking through the Yellow Fingers.”

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Solomon on Planning and Goal-Setting

Thoughts about planning and long-range goal-setting…

Proverbs 16:1 – We can and should make our plans. Plans that truly motivate us and excite our hearts are the fuel of life. Yet the Lord is also interested in the reply of the moment. Our love for others (demonstrated in our conversations now – with patience, wisdom, and helpfulness) is the stuff God uses to achieve his righteous ends.

Proverbs 16:2 – We can justify our actions based on the long-range plans we have set, but God evaluates our motives and attitudes in the moment.

Proverbs 16:3 – It is assumed that we have goals and long-range plans, yet we still need to commit our in-the-moment actions to the Lord. With goals in the back of our minds, we focus on doing what is right and what is honoring to God each day, whether or not it seems to bring us closer to our goals. It is that kind of living that God honors by giving success to the goals. Who determines whether we succeed in the long-run or whether we fail? Is it not God? Therefore to honor God each day is the way to reach success in the end. Sometimes what’s right today may seem to take us further from the goals. For instance, children may need discipline, parents may need our assistance, an injustice may need to be corrected, or the needy may need rescue. Yet these godly ‘distractions’ are the building blocks God uses to bring true success to our plans.

Proverbs 16:4-8 – God has long-range plans also. And in his plans the person who is selfish and wicked today has an end-game of destruction. So our actions today (righteous or wicked) determine how we fit into God’s long-range plans!

Proverbs 16:9 – Like in verse 1, it is right for a man to set a course for his life, to have plans that excite him and goals that motivate. Yet in all this planning, remember that the Lord will guide each day. And our true test is whether we honor him each step of the way, not whether we achieve the end we think is right.

Do you agree? Proverbs 16:1–9 (NIV84)

1To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue.
2All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.
3Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
4The Lord works out everything for his own ends— even the wicked for a day of disaster.

9In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

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Magical Porpoises

Seeking immortality, two explorers set off for the heart of the Dark Continent in search of the lake where, it was said, lived immortal porpoises capable of granting the same on any who were fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of them. They had been warned, however, that the porpoises surfaced only for those who chanced to offer to them as a gift something from the ocean from whence they had originally come. So the explorers carried on their expedition a crate of sea gulls.

At last, having journied for weeks through the jungles, surviving both threat and misfortune, they neared the mysterious lake. As its majestic beauty appeared before them, however, the trail narrowed dramatically, and there, blocking their way were several lions resting on the path. The explorers were afraid to kill them, thinking they, too, might be magical. Knowing they could not creap around them without detection, one explorer displayed his excellent preparation by withdrawing from his equipment pouch a tranquilizer pistol, where upon he darted all the lions. As they fell into a trance, the explorers quickly stepped over them. Just as they reached the shores of the lake, a sheriff jumped out and arrested them. “What’s the charge?” demanded one of the explorers. Came the reply,

“Transporting gulls across sedated lions for immortal porpoises!”

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Archaeological Dig

After a heavy day’s digging at the archeological site in Norway, researchers uncovered a priceless statue of the ancient Norse thunder god.He had bulging muscles and imposing stance, and his famous giant hammer.But most important of all, the eyes in his fierce-looking face were made of two giant rubies that glittered with a brilliant red color.

Of course, the two leading archeologists on the dig were both determined that they should be the one to have their name listed on the discovery. Pretty soon, a big argument was underway. The two provided the others with a great source of amusement for the evening. By the time they finally gave up and called a truce, everyone else was feeling quite refreshed by the entertainment.

As the crowd dispersed, one junior digger turned to his friend, and said,”Well, that was a fight for Thor eyes.”

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High School Reunion

Two high school buddies finished off their grade 12 and moved off to different parts of the country, Joe to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a bird breeder and Frank to a job as a public librarian. Ten years later, at the school reunion, the two greeted each other and an awkward silence ensued. Finally, Frank piped up, “So, bred any good rooks lately?”

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Choir Threats

The church volunteer choir went on a cruise where they were asked to sing for those on board. One new recruit to the choir was having a terrible time keeping time with the rest of the group. Finally, the choir director said, “Look, either you learn to keep time or I’ll throw you overboard. It’s up to you, sync or swim.”

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Columbus Update

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus reached what we now know as America.

While there are still a few who believe Columbus returned to Spain and told Queen Isabella that he discovered a new world, most believe he had told her he had reached India. Recently documents written by Queen Isabella’s official scribe were uncovered revealing what Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage.

His first words were, “I’ll bet I’m the first man who ever got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon.”

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